by 
Have you ever noticed that the words and opinions of others influence the decisions you make? Or that you constantly consider what you hear from others, doubting your own thoughts and feelings?
Unfortunately, it is far from always the case that other people are advising us out of sincere motives. Allowing others to influence your moods, thoughts, and choices traps you - it makes you un-self-sufficient and causes you to veer off the path to your own happiness.
There are several ways to keep other people from “taking up residence in your head” and influencing how you live your life and what you think about.
Ask yourself why this or that person's opinion might matter to you
Would you go to the person you are dialoguing with for advice? Do his actions always seem rational, sensible and right to you? If not, you should not worry about what he says.
Whenever you feel anxious about what you hear from others, ask yourself why their opinion matters so much to you. Also, consider whether these people deserve your undivided attention.
Remain impartial
If someone tries to insult you to influence your opinion, try to keep your emotions in check and remain an impartial observer.
By not letting other people influence how you feel, you prevent them from getting in your head and influencing what decisions you make.
Don't take anything personally
The way people behave towards you only shows who they are deep down. Don't take cruelty, insults or harsh words personally, and don't let others guilt you into feeling guilty.
Recognize that the behavior of others is an indicator of their character and intentions. You can't change them, but you have the power not to take it personally, and you can figure out whether or not it's worth it to maintain a relationship with someone.
Try to understand intentions
Understanding the intentions of the person you're talking to frees you from negativity. Once you understand why a person is trying to influence you, you'll know how to respond to his words correctly.
For example, a friend is trying to talk you out of a relationship with a girl because he suspects that she is not telling you the whole truth and is afraid that it will break your heart. His motives are sincere and understandable, so it's worth talking to him about both yours and his feelings.
Another life example: a girl is rude and insists on her own, only if you do as she wants. The solution she imposes on you will be good for her, but it will bring you new problems. In this case, her motive may be selfishness and the need to get what she wants from you, which is manipulative and unacceptable behavior in a healthy relationship.
If her intentions seem to you doubtful and insincere, do not give in to persuasion and firmly stand on their own. After all, it happens that once you allow another person to influence your decision, you open the door for him to “sit on your neck”.
Don't let comparisons take over
It is not uncommon for people we interact with to compare us to others in order to convince us of something or to influence our actions.
If someone is trying to make you feel inferior because you are different or make the “wrong” choice, take it as an indicator that you are probably not on the same page.
Those who want what's best for you will be able to convey their opinions without demeaning you as a person. Remember that comparison is a manipulation that reflects how others truly feel about you.
Remove yourself from the situation
Imagine that your friend is violating the boundaries you set and provoking an argument on purpose.
In this case, you don't want to argue your point and show emotion - that's probably what your friend is trying to do to influence you.
The best thing you can do in such situations is to withdraw from them, for example, to change the subject of the conversation or directly indicate that you are not going to discuss certain things. But if you're not being understood, the best way to remove yourself from unpleasant dialog is to create physical distance by saying goodbye and going about your business.
Learn to recognize manipulation
They say that forewarned is forearmed. And when it comes to manipulation, this saying describes the behavioral strategy you should follow.
Figure out what manipulations are most often used by people trying to influence your decisions and behaviors, and then be careful when communicating with them so that you don't give in to provocations and don't doubt what you've decided.
If you don't know where to start, check out this article - in it we talked about the most common methods of manipulation that people around you may use.
Distract yourself with something positive
When we give in to our emotions, we make bad decisions and also let the words of others influence what we think.
If you feel yourself sinking into an abyss of thought and doubt after talking to someone, distract yourself with something positive that requires your full attention.
You can go to the gym, glue together a model airplane, start writing a humorous short story, or play your favorite game. Essentially, you'll replace someone else's comments and unsolicited advice with an enjoyable endeavor that will help you not take someone else's words personally and go back to rethinking an unpleasant situation with a cool head.
Realize that other people's opinions simply don't matter
The only opinion that should influence your life is your own. If someone feels the need to impose their thoughts and point of view on you, just nod, smile, and get back to what matters to you.
Even if it seems like the person is making a valid point, their position is not always the right one for you. Always ask yourself: what is my own point of view?
by