by 
Everyone has a need for a sense of belonging to something: a community, a family, a job. But, unfortunately, many of us cannot experience this feeling.
It can feel like you are alone in the world and there is no place for you anywhere. Here are a few things to do if you don't feel a sense of belonging to absolutely nothing.
Evaluate what might be the cause of your feeling
Feeling like an outsider can be affected by many things, from moving to another city to emotional trauma.
If you feel out of place and it's due to life circumstances, it's good to remind yourself that it's only temporary. Yes, you don't have friends in your new city yet, but you're bound to make some. Or maybe you haven't gotten a job yet after being laid off, but you can definitely do that.
However, sometimes it feels like you'll never be able to become your own among other people. Often the reason for this feeling is social awkwardness, low self-esteem or the habit of criticizing yourself - you need to deal with these problems to get a sense of belonging and acceptance.
Accept how you feel
It's not pleasant to feel alienated when a friend doesn't invite you to a wedding or when coworkers treat you with indifference.
If you take time to acknowledge your emotions, you'll reduce your social anxiety. You can try doing breathing exercises, writing about your feelings on a piece of paper, going for a walk.
Whatever emotions arise, they are logical. Don't try to suppress them because this is more likely to lead to mental health problems.
Don't be ashamed of what makes you happy
One way or another, every person wants to be happy. Spoil yourself with things that bring you joy without looking at other people, because not everyone may have the same personal values and passions.
So if you enjoy re-watching the same TV show, gardening or listening to an unpopular band, allow yourself to do so.
We are all unique and have different traits, so you don't have to apologize for what you do to cheer yourself up.
Learn to open up
In order to fit in, you need to open up to others and talk about yourself, and be an active listener. It can be difficult to show character and share your beliefs with people you barely know, but it is part of social interaction and cannot be avoided.
Learning to openly express your own opinions, share your impressions, and talk about different topics will make it easier to feel accepted and welcomed.
Don't compare yourself to others
It's easy to get discouraged, thinking that other people have perfect social lives and you won't be able to achieve it for some reason.
The truth is that everyone struggles with certain psychological issues, it's just that not everyone is willing to talk about it. It's much easier to talk about something outstanding on social media than it is to talk about the fact that you had to scrape together money to pay the rent this month.
So don't compare yourself to others or think that you are the worst.
Try to find commonalities
People often feel a connection with those who are similar to them. And often, we feel like we don't fit in simply because we don't find similarities with the members of a team.
But the truth is, you may have more in common with others than you realize. It can be little things like your favorite meal or the habit of rubbing your eyes when tired, but even they can give you the feeling that you are not alone and similar to those who are around.
Question your beliefs
Typically, people who feel out of place struggle with feelings of loneliness. They may have grown up feeling that they are not like their peers or feel that no one understands them. These underlying beliefs become obsessive and over time begin to shape how they perceive the world.
It is important to question them. Focus on memories of when you felt accepted and understood, try to interact with others more often to refresh those feelings. Trust me, being isolated or pushing others away won't make you feel out of place.
You also need to question the voice of the inner critic who tells you that you can never be recognized, and that you are uninteresting and forever alone. As you fight these beliefs, you'll notice that you feel differently about yourself and those around you.
Stop trying to fit in with everyone else
We are all weird to one degree or another, and that's okay. You don't have to hide your peculiarities and traits to fit in with other people.
Sometimes it is because of constant pretending and trying to fit in that we fail and feel out of place. You don't have to hide your little quirks, interests and habits just to appear perfect.
And if someone says you're weird, take it as a compliment, not a criticism - after all, not everyone can be themselves.
Be patient
It takes time to figure out where you belong, so it's important to be patient. Don't be upset if a potential friendship doesn't work out and socializing in a team doesn't bring pleasure. It may not be your fault at all.
Don't beat yourself up if you feel that you don't fit in or feel like an outsider - keep looking for a place where you will be accepted and understood, and try to become that place for others.
by 