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Not every workplace can be called great. Sometimes you encounter misunderstanding, passive aggression or the feeling that your words just don't make any difference to your boss or colleagues.
Many of us in such a situation silently nod our heads and agree with someone, even if we hold the opposite opinion, because it's easier that way. But silence does not always make the situation better.
Standing up for yourself is more than responding to behavior you don't like. You need to know your worth and show it, and use your voice wisely to fight back and not get fired.
Don't worry, it's not as hard as it may seem at first glance. Stick to these rules if you want to stand up for yourself at work.
1. Know your rights and talk about them
To begin with, it is important to know your rights at work. It's not just about the important things in the employment contract, but also about what you encounter on a day-to-day basis.
Consider whether you know your rights in matters such as breaks, a safe workplace, fair treatment regarding pay, promotion or workload sharing.
Fully understanding where you stand, from a legal perspective, gives you a solid foundation on which to assert your rights.
2. Set expectations and clear boundaries
Deal with expectations and personal boundaries after you've learned your rights. It's not about constantly saying no to those around you, but about saying yes to what really matters and showing others how to work effectively with you.
For example, you might tell your coworkers that you are very busy on Thursday mornings and would like no one to bother you during that time. Also point out that you don't have as busy a schedule on Wednesday afternoons.
This approach to work will help others understand when it's best to contact you for conversations or brainstorming, and which times to wait unless there's a particular urgency. It's a win-win for everyone - clarify this if necessary.
Also, asserting boundaries at work helps you establish a balance between your career and personal life. Don't take calls from coworkers after you've left the office to show that you won't tolerate disrespect for your time.
3. Be persistent and use “I-speak”
One of the best strategies for communicating with anyone is to use “I statements”. They are not seen as accusations, but as messages worth taking note of, so they rarely lead to conflict.
Instead of saying the phrase “You never listen to my ideas” to a coworker, use “I feel unheard when you don't take my suggestions into consideration.”
This approach to communication helps you appear confident. It is not commanding and aggressive, but an expression of feelings about the behavior that is affecting you.
Also, after using “I-affirmation,” you can tactfully point out changes you'd like to see. Still the same example: “I feel unheard and would like you to give me the opportunity to speak up.”
4. Communicate transparently
When we talk openly about our thoughts, feelings and reasons for doing things, we build trust and respect with people.
Let's get right into the practice. Stay honest when the conversation turns to what you can and can't do. Share the course of your thoughts when making decisions, especially those that will affect other employees. Also, don't be shy about admitting that you don't have all the answers.
Simply put, transparent communication allows others to see what's going on in your mind, as well as clearly understand your intentions. Don't be afraid to speak your mind by asserting your position rather than taking a defensive stance whenever someone disagrees with you.
5. Save your time and ask for what you need
Your time is valuable, and how you allocate it can have a significant impact on your productivity and well-being.
If you're constantly working overtime and taking on more than you can handle, it's time to speak up and call it quits. Have an honest conversation with your supervisor about your workload.
Each of us has only twenty-four hours in a day, eight of which we spend sleeping. To make the remaining time meaningful, don't hesitate to ask for what you need, whether it's resources, more realistic deadlines, prioritization, or vacation time.
6. Manage your response to conflict
Conflict is an inevitable part of working life. You can't control the actions of others, but you can keep your reaction to a clash of interests in check.
This takes practice and self-awareness. When faced with conflict, it's easy to take a defensive stance or lash out at your opponent, which only fuels the argument. Instead, try doing this:
- Take a deep breath and count to ten before responding;
- Acknowledge your emotions, but don't let them control your behavior;
- Try to understand your opponent's point of view, even if you don't agree with it;
- Focus on finding solutions, not blame.
The goal is not to avoid conflict completely, but to find a way to deal with it respectfully and productively. By keeping your cool in contentious situations and approaching them with balance in your heart, you'll be better equipped to stand up for yourself and achieve positive results.
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