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Each of us can find ourselves in a relationship that does not bring happiness. Some people realize that they can't go on like this for long and decide to break up, while others maintain a relationship for years that no longer brings them pleasure.
So why can't we always walk away, even when we realize that the relationship is robbing us of joy? Here are a few reasons.
You're afraid of being alone
Fear of being alone can be a driving force for maintaining a relationship that has stopped bringing happiness.
It's not always easy to admit to yourself that you're experiencing it. It can be especially scary to be alone when your relationship has lasted for years and you've managed to forget what it's like to live without someone by your side and devote time to dating.
However, this fear shouldn't be the reason why you stay in a relationship that's no longer working. It's better to be alone than to live your life feeling how unhappy you are every day.
You're afraid of change
You probably hate change, even if it's for the better. You don't like getting out of the rut, living in limbo, and making a lot of new decisions.
It's that fear of change that may be the foundation that holds your unhappy relationship together. Yes, starting over can be scary, as can walking away from the familiar, like standing on the edge of a precipice. But staying in a familiar but unenjoyable place, you realize one day that you've wasted a lot of time, and you can't get it back.
You hope the person will change
Hope is a good thing, but sometimes it starts to hurt us too. This is what happens when you stay in an unhappy relationship, hoping that your partner will change for the better.
You hope that he or she will be different and all your problems will solve themselves. Waiting for happiness can take years, followed by nothing but disappointment.
People don't change, especially if they don't want to. Is it worth wasting your life waiting for happiness and for someone to become a different person instead of joy and fulfillment?
You realize how much you've invested in the relationship
Often we think of relationships as a successful long-term project. We invest, invest, invest and hope that sooner or later we will get a big “return” from it.
But not every romantic connection lives up to our expectations. Relationships can be one-sided, and it happens that partners simply use us without giving anything in return.
And then you realize that the relationship makes you unhappy, but you can not get out of it, because you realize how much emotion and effort you put into it.
The problem is that the longer you stay in such a relationship, the more devastated and frustrated you become. Eventually, you realize that all your expenditure and effort went nowhere, and that you will either have to accept it and continue to be miserable from here on out, or make the decision to break up in order to move on.
You've lost yourself
When people start dating, they are two separate individuals who are drawn to each other. They have similarities and differences that are viewed with interest and a dose of excitement.
In a healthy relationship, they each remain themselves, but also know the points of commonality that bring them together. But there are times when a romantic connection leads to co-dependency, which brings with it many woes.
One of them is that you lose yourself in the relationship. You are no longer an individual with your separate needs, outlook on life, and passions. You can't remember the last time you made your own decisions or did what you wanted to do.
Dissolving into a relationship can make you forget who you used to be. And this unhealthy dynamic forces you to stay close to the person you no longer love. What's more, because of co-dependency, many people can't get out of toxic relationships even if they realize the damage they're doing.
You're afraid of losing your comfort
Let's not underestimate the power of habit. After many years, even an unhappy relationship can be comfortable in its own way.
Why? You know exactly what's in store for you, what qualities your soulmate possesses, and how your life is moving. Your relationship is so predictable and understandable, and that's very comfortable.
Unfortunately, such imaginary comfort brings great pain sooner or later. The thought of changing things up can be scary, but also the feeling that you haven't experienced joy and pleasure in a long time is pressurizing and frustrating.
You're worried about what people will say
Every day we experience a certain amount of social pressure. This can include breakups.
You may be thinking about what other people will say if you leave your partner, and deep down you are afraid of facing the disapproval of others. And you tolerate a relationship that doesn't bring you happiness just because you place too much importance on other people's opinions.
Neither friends, family, nor anyone else should be the reason why you remain unhappy around the wrong person. The opinion of others is not something you should take to heart. The only thing you should care about is your own well-being, even if it involves breaking up with someone.
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