Insecurity in relationships can be a silent struggle creeping into our minds, even when we think everything is fine.
If you've ever worried about your girlfriend's fidelity or doubted yourself as a partner, you're not alone. Everyone experiences these worries from time to time, but they are rarely talked about openly.
The truth is that these doubts and fears can poison your life, as well as rob relationships of trust and intimacy. You don't have to let insecurity rule you - it's important to figure out where it comes from in order to overcome it.
Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem affects not only how you feel about yourself, but also how you feel in relationships.
Because of it, you make unfounded assumptions, suffer from jealousy on nothing, and constantly think that you are not good enough for your soulmate. All of this leads to fears, negative feelings, and an inability to trust and accept affection from the one you love.
Overcoming low self-esteem is crucial to building a safe, comfortable and fulfilling relationship based on trust and love.
Painful past relationships
The past may be one of the answers to why you feel insecure in your current relationship. If you have experienced infidelity or another type of betrayal, or have been in a toxic atmosphere for a long time, any new relationship will be viewed with suspicion and insecurity.
The fear of rejection and pain that comes after past traumatic events can have a significant impact on how you perceive relationships. It's important to learn to let go of the negativity you've experienced, and to seek help from a therapist in time if you realize that it's long-gone events that are keeping you from being happy in the present.
Concerns about long-term prospects
It is natural for people to have doubts about the long-term future of their relationship from time to time. However, constantly fearing or worrying about it can be harmful.
Insecurity in relationships is often a consequence of worrying about whether you and your girlfriend are right for each other, whether you have the same views and plans for life. Trust and intimacy suffer because of this, especially when you can't express your concerns openly or have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner.
It's important to address such issues not alone. Having an honest and possibly difficult conversation about your worries about your future together can bring significant relief and help you overcome relationship insecurities.
Financial problems
Financial instability or income inequality can be a cause of insecurity in a relationship. You may also doubt your romantic connection because of differences in spending habits, financial goals, or lack of transparency in matters that involve money.
Of course, all of this makes you anxious and unsure if you're on the right track with the person. Openly and honestly discussing the financial issues that have grown between you is the way to eliminate fears, find compromises, and create financial security in your couple.
The habit of comparing
Don't underestimate the detrimental power of the habit of comparing your life to someone else's.
This is a pattern of behavior that can destroy not only your self-esteem, but also your relationships. Constantly comparing what's going on between you and your partner with beautiful pictures of love from the internet or stories from acquaintances about the perfect marriage can lead to feelings of insecurity.
It's important to remember that it's not your friends' stories and social media images that are a reflection of the truth. No one talks about the difficulties they have to face, and conflicts and unpleasant situations are always behind the scenes.
If you don't want to ruin your relationships, stop comparing them to other people's - rather focus on evaluating them with an open mind, and reflect on what you could do to improve them.
Lack of quality time together
Quality time spent together are moments when you show attention to each other, feel a special trust and closeness. It can be a heart-to-heart talk, engaging in a hobby that is interesting to the two of you, romantic moments.
If this is lacking in the relationship, insecurity arises. You feel lonely, despite the fact that your soulmate is near, you realize that there is a distance between you.
Of course, a lack of quality time together doesn't always indicate that you've fallen out of love. It can arise due to busy schedules, stress, and other distractions.
To cope with this problem, you need to negotiate and learn to prioritize each other no matter what is going on in your life. You should try to spend time together, create meaningful experiences, provide support and show genuine interest in each other.
Jealousy and trust issues
You may feel that you don't trust a person, even if they don't give you a reason to. This feeling can be the result of negative experiences in the past or your insecurity. It makes you jealous for no reason and also makes you doubt the relationship.
It is important to address the root causes of trust issues in order to build a healthy and long-term romantic connection.
Also, relationship doubts can arise if you are on the other side of jealousy. When you're constantly suspected of something or chided for no reason, insecurity in a relationship comes into play. It's very hard to live your life constantly proving that you're a good and honest person - it's what makes you start to wonder if you want to keep doing this and maintain a relationship that makes you do it.
Unresolved conflicts
Lingering unresolved conflicts can fuel insecurity. They cause a lot of resentment and doubt about the stability of the relationship and whether you are truly loved.
The longer disagreements and “quiet arguments” that have never been voiced accumulate, the more often you wonder if you want to keep dating the person.
Family and peer pressure
The influence of outsiders on our relationships should not be underestimated. If you are constantly subjected to family and peer pressure, it's no wonder that sooner or later you begin to question whether a person is right for you and whether you are doing the right thing by staying with them.
To prevent judgment and criticism of others from becoming a cause of insecurity and loss of happiness, it is important to set boundaries in communication, as well as to make relationships a priority over the outside world.