We all make excuses from time to time to put things off or give up on goals. But this habit distances us from success and productivity.
There comes a time in everyone's life when you feel you need to move from excuses to accountability and proactive action. Here's what will help put that plan into action.
Understand the reasons for the excuses
It's important to figure out why you're making excuses instead of taking action. For example, you might just be lazy - it's common to put things off until later.
But there are times when excuses are a consequence of a deeper emotional reaction. It's not uncommon for us to use them to get rid of tasks that conflict with our goals and desires, or even when we've promised something we can't or won't fulfill.
Figure out why you're making up another excuse and try to figure out what emotions are at fault.
For example, if you tell yourself that you “just don't have enough time to play sports” but feel anxious about being in the gym, start setting aside an hour to work out at home.
Sometimes all it takes is admitting that you don't want something or are afraid of something to reassess your boundaries, find a way out of the situation and stop making excuses, redirecting your energy to doing things.
Decide where you want to go
Start with a problem you want to solve or a goal you have set. Then ask yourself what you need to get to where you've planned.
Do a whole lot of research on how to set clear, realistic goals and get to work on realizing them.
Here's a quick example: it's not enough to dream that you'll buy yourself a car someday. That provides a great foundation for a lot of excuses. But by building a plan to save up for a car in three years by setting aside a certain amount per month, you're more likely to end up at your goal-if you keep your word, of course.
Start acting without hesitation
Often excuses arise because we overthink things.
Figuring out what areas in the apartment need to be cleaned and imagining in colors that it might be difficult, it is easy to say that there is not enough time and effort, and then put everything off for later.
It's times like these when you need to take action, not deliberation. Don't let your brain get lazy and make you believe the excuses that arise in it. Get to the task at hand, figuring out what your next step will be as you go along.
Of course, this strategy won't work for all aspects of life. For example, when dealing with finances, it's better to be cautious than to act impulsively and get yourself into trouble.
However, when it comes to cleaning or calling a relative whose birthday it is, it's better to act without hesitation.
Get rid of limiting beliefs
Often excuses are a consequence of limiting beliefs we believe in.
They are stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we can accomplish. By telling ourselves the phrase “I'm stupid” or “I'll never be able to do this”, we prevent ourselves from believing in ourselves and starting to do something instead of making excuses.
So the next time you catch yourself having these thoughts, go to the mirror and say the opposite belief several times, “I'm not stupid - I can learn anything with a little time.”
Believe me, it works and it energizes your motivation to get better.
Find a role model
Sometimes it is helpful to look at someone and say to yourself, “If they did it, why can't I?”
Find inspiration in someone, and then promise to become that inspiration to others. Once you begin to realize that you are capable of growth and development, you'll stop thinking of yourself as someone who needs excuses.
Learn more
People can only make excuses because they are afraid of the unknown. Consequently, to take action, you need to learn more about what you have been putting off for so long.
Change always involves risk, especially when it comes to new experiences, lifestyles, and careers. By digging deeper into the topic, you can get rid of fear and realize if you really want what you have in mind.
By eliminating the fear of the unknown, you are more likely to plan your actions and realize your dreams instead of making excuses.
Don't blame others for your lack of motivation
Those who like to make excuses often blame other people or circumstances. This is one of the most destructive behaviors because it takes away motivation and self-confidence, but it also makes you belittle your own abilities and lose faith that you can do better.
Take responsibility for yourself rather than blaming someone else. Quit the habit of complaining about life and looking for reasons for your failures in others. Instead, you need to think about what you want to achieve and how to do it.
By taking control of your thoughts and actions, you're more likely to give up excuses in favor of staying on track and moving forward.
Get out of the shame spiral
Typically, people feel shame for putting things off or making excuses. This makes them feel unworthy or cheating, which only reinforces the negative emotions.
When you realize that excuses are getting in the way of your life, you give yourself a choice. Always think about the consequences: do you want to feel shame again for having “excused” yourself from something, or would you rather do the deed and feel like a winner?
I think the second option will suit you much better - it should be your motivation.
Get out of the habit of rationalizing
“I'll eat this unhealthy snack since I had a bad day”, ‘I've been working out all week so I might skip my workout today’ are simple examples of the rationalizations we use to make excuses.
Stop resorting to it to learn how to take responsibility. Rationalization is just a way to hide and sugarcoat your motives. You eat a deep-fried appetizer because it's delicious and you don't have to cook it, but you don't want to go to practice because a new game has installed itself on your computer.
There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to be a gamer or eat something useless every now and then. Neither of these things, in and of themselves, are going to get in the way of your sport or lifestyle goals.
But if you have a habit of rationalizing and justifying these actions, you're more likely to let them become a habit rather than an isolated incident.
To break this pattern, start looking for excuses and contradicting them and doing the opposite of what you want to do. Be honest with yourself about why you are doing a particular act.