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On the long and thorny path of personal development, there may come a time when you feel that you have not made the progress you dreamed of.
This may be because you continue to hold on to an old version of yourself that doesn't fit your current worldview.
Of course, we all have certain beliefs about who we are, and a lot of them are based on past experiences. But those beliefs don't always fit as a description of the person you want to be.
If you try to change but can't let go of the person you used to be, you're letting your past control the future. And that prevents you from growing and moving in the direction you want to go.
If you want to grow, it's time to get rid of your old self - here are some tips on how to do it.
Refuse to be labeled
Labels are not just words we use to describe ourselves or others, but also a certain moral attitude. Calling yourself a “loser” or a “cynic” is like programming your mind to conform to that image.
You end up limiting yourself and assuming that you should or shouldn't do certain things because of the labels you've placed on yourself.
If you believe you can achieve something, you will achieve it. But if you're convinced you can't do something, you won't even try.
Stop identifying yourself with the labels you've put on your personality due to past experiences. Tell yourself that you are not who you used to be and they no longer fit you.
Get rid of stereotypes about yourself so that you can more easily cultivate new qualities in yourself and transform into the person you want to be.
Don't let anyone shame you for making changes
You probably have at least one person in your life who reminds you of your shortcomings and past mistakes.
Some people have a certain opinion of you based on decisions you made years ago. And it happens that people around you get so used to the way the “past you” acted that they can't see you as a completely different person.
They may try to convince you that change is bad, and simply can't stand the fact that you're getting stronger and moving forward.
But only you know what's best for you. Don't let anyone stop you from staying true to yourself and being the way you want to be.
Tune in to your own needs instead of pleasing others. The only opinion that should matter most to you is your own. Don't let anyone use the past to devalue your current progress.
Adopt a growth mindset
Growth mindset means believing that you can improve your abilities through effort and hard work.
You may think that because you used to behave a certain way and made some mistakes in the past, you can't move forward. However, know that you feel stuck because you are allowing such thoughts to define you.
You have a choice: either allow past experiences to make your life worse and rob you of the privilege to change, or let go of the illusion that you are capable of nothing.
Constantly thinking about mistakes keeps you in the same place. But by letting them go and convincing yourself that you can change if you want to, you'll notice that positive change is closer than it seemed.
Instead of wasting your precious time and energy on self-defeating thoughts, focus on how you can invest in your potential.
You don't have to live in the same place forever and be who you used to be. You can be different and attract something more into your life if you realize that there are always opportunities in life to be happier and better.
Remember that the present moment is all you have
You may be ashamed of what you've done in the past. But if you dwell on what you could have done or should have said years ago, you don't let yourself grow. Thoughts become a negative cycle that gets sucked into the abyss and causes you to ignore the good things happening in the moment.
And that's a losing life strategy. You'll get nothing but pain and growing guilt from it.
To change, you're going to have to look at your past differently. What happened, happened. The only thing left to do is to learn from your mistakes.
You don't need to relive painful memories over and over again - you need to come to terms with them and see these experiences as opportunities for growth.
By changing your attitude toward the past, you can blossom in the present. So be mindful of your thoughts and behaviors.
Realize that you've changed
You're probably not too fond of remembering all the wrong decisions you've made in your life.
But you've grown up, gained a greater understanding of yourself, and know that you're wise enough not to repeat your own mistakes. So don't let the memories of the past pull you back.
Take responsibility for the behaviors and beliefs you held before, but focus on the path that is open before you. Get your strength and confidence back.
You also need to practice self-awareness more often. The more often you notice how you start to berate yourself for past mistakes, the quicker you can pull yourself out of the “what was I thinking, how was I at fault” position and move on. By letting go of the person you used to be, you create space for a better version of yourself to blossom.
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