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Between stress at work, family issues, and just the realities of life, it's easy to feel like the world and society are weighing on you.
Some of the stressors we face every day are unavoidable, while others we impose on ourselves. For example, when we try very hard to make other people happy at the expense of our own needs.
But it's still important to learn to separate real responsibility from the things we put on our own shoulders for nothing. That's what it's time to stop trying to be responsible for, even if you yourself think or hear that you should be doing it.
1. Happiness, sadness, and other emotions of those around you
You are not responsible for other people's emotions - how they react to news or events, communicate, perceive others. You have no power to control or dictate how a person should feel in a certain situation.
Of course, your behavior and actions can affect the emotional state of others - remember how a person's face changes when he receives praise or condemnation. But the way he perceives the world around him is not yours, but his responsibility.
It's important to distinguish between trying to make someone else's day better and the obsessive need to make everyone around you happy. People can be upset, frustrated, and annoyed, but their feelings are not a reason to fit your life around them or put their needs above your own.
Yes, we can hurt other people, consciously or not. And when it comes to abdicating responsibility for their feelings, no one is talking about being cold or indifferent to others. But don't fall into the trap of sacrificing yourself simply because you feel you owe someone. Don't neglect what is important to you for the sake of someone else's good, otherwise neither you nor the person you are trying for will be truly happy.
2. Other people's decisions
It can be hard to watch loved ones make decisions that hurt them. You may be tempted to give them valuable advice, point them in the right direction, or convince them that the actions they are taking are fundamentally wrong.
Unfortunately, our interventions don't always benefit other people, and not everyone you know needs to be rescued. Here are a few reasons why other people's decisions shouldn't be your responsibility.
First, you can't change another person, even if you try hard enough. He is a formed individual with his own character, habits, and principles. Until he himself does not want to change something in his life, no outside motivation, entreaties, blackmail and pleas will not bring a positive result. Yes, perhaps it can be a good impetus for change, but still fully responsible for the actions of others, alas, you can not.
Secondly, when you take responsibility for another person's life, you forget about your own. You can be so caught up in their problems that you don't notice your life and mental state going down the drain.
Third, it is not uncommon for those who give others advice and try to make decisions for others to be scapegoats. People shift responsibility for their lives onto others only to later condemn them for failures or missed opportunities. Do you need to be a whipping boy and wallow in other people's negativity? We think no.
3. The result of your efforts
We often set ourselves the goal of achieving some ideal result, which in reality is an inflated standard.
But often it is not only our skills, motivation and diligence that influence what we end up achieving, but also external factors. There are times when an almost achieved goal becomes noticeably distant due to sudden troubles or seems like a bad decision due to circumstances.
Let's take a simple example: you worked hard all month, but the company suffered a significant loss, and because of this you did not receive a bonus. Is this result your responsibility? No, because you can't influence the budget and revenue of a huge enterprise, nor can you influence the force majeure that happens.
Instead of focusing on the perfect result, you need to focus specifically on the effort you put in. What you do won't remain useless to you in any case, if only because it develops perseverance, stamina and other useful skills in you.
4. Expectations of others and society
It may seem that we are obliged to live up to the expectations of family, friends or society in general, but this is not really the case.
For example, if someone expects you to call them every day, it doesn't mean you have to do so against your wishes and abilities.
These expectations are often unfair: take, for example, the statement “Men don't cry,” which has caused millions of guys around the world to suppress their emotions and then suffer from mental problems.
It's important to remember that even if someone has expectations about how you should be or act, you don't have to conform to them. Other people's thoughts and desires are their responsibility, not yours.
After all, there can be so many expectations of others, which are often so contradictory, that it is simply impossible to meet them all. It is much more important to strive to remain a good person, and in your own mind, rather than to be convenient for everyone around you.
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